Motivation – always at the wrong time, in the wrong place

Motivation comes and goes as it pleases. That is the case today as well. At the moment I feel like doing absolutely nothing except lying down and watching Boston Legal episodes. Although I have seen all of them at least two (or maybe three) times I still enjoy to put an episode on after I come back home tired of whatever I was doing during the day. Not that it was much, but as I said – my motivation to do anything left me a couple of hours ago…

Or maybe I should read a bit – great idea, if it wasn’t for the fact that the books I really want to read are on my laptop and I am sick and tired of staring at the laptop screen today. So this goes out of the picture as well. Hmm…what to do next? I think I got it! There is an interesting football game starting in an hour or so. Not that I will be watching the whole thing, but I will at least put it on in the background while I am doing my thing (whatever that will be).

It’s weird – I already feel like the weekend started and it is Friday night: I am done with working for the next two days, I will go out, drink, meet with my friends, sleep longer, and enjoy not one, but two motorsport events – the final Moto GP race of the season and the highly anticipated Brazilian GP of Formula 1.

This year I have developed quite a strong passion for motorsports. To watch on telly though… I am still waiting to be invited to race, but my talent has not been spotted yet. Never mind that. So this motorsports fever I have makes me do strange things sometimes. For example, once I went to work in the late morning on Friday just to use the fast internet connection there and watch the live stream of the Friday practice in Formula 1. That was fun! Then, recently, I woke up two days in a row during the weekend at six in the morning to watch the F1 qualifiers and race on the next day, respectively. Crazy shit… But it is worth it and I wouldn’t do it any other way. Because I like what I do and doing this is fun (watching the races I mean – I am not that keen on the waking-up- at-six-during-the-weekend part).

But hey! Talking about motivation – apparently it was there to wake me up at these hours of the day. Motivation – always at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Actually, that is not true – when I do something I enjoy I always feel motivated. And when I am faced with the task of doing something boring, against my will and interest my motivation is the first thing to feel the discomfort and get the hell out of my reach, probably hiding outside my room, somewhere under the stairs or under the cupboard. I have to admit that my motivation is really smart – it always knows when I am trying to trick it into coming back to me and help me to accomplish a daunting task I am faced with. It’s usually a lost cause to try and do that. As I mentioned already: motivation comes and goes as it pleases.

My motivation and I are also quite inseparable. Whenever we have reached an understanding about doing something together you will see us hand-in-hand, putting just enough effort into what we are doing and the result will be quite satisfactory. And then even when we disagree completely about what needs to be done we are still inseparable. As I’ve mentioned – during such periods my motivation leaves the room and hides under the stairs, the cupboard, or whatever. And then I realise how fond I am of it and I get this feeling of not wanting to go away and just stay inside, be lazy and wait for my motivation to return to me – so we can resolve our disagreements and start over. Sometimes I think that this is quite a complicated relationship – between my motivation and me.

I am now beginning to feel how it is slowly returning to me and I can finally sit down and finish something. Finish this blog post, for example. And after this I will watch the football game. It’s Europa League night. Boring. The only reason I am going to bother with it is that Liverpool FC are playing tonight against Napoli…if I am not mistaken. At least my expectations for a football spectacle are not up, so I will either stay indifferent after the game is over or get a little bit excited for as long as five minutes after the whole thing is over. I would have never said such a thing just a couple of years back. But things change…for the good.

I guess the reason to have my motivation back is that I got slightly excited about tomorrow and the weekend. Maybe writing about it also helped. Who knows? This whole thing might be a mind trick, so that I start to do something important and then (not even halfway through) my motivation abandons me again and decides that it is time to sleep and very selfishly leaves me to deal with the task on my own. Cheeky. Little. Bugger.

Oh well – how easy it is always to moan about things. It’s even easier in writing. Therefore, I feel I should stop now. And I have made up my mind – I will be watching some football now, maybe skype with a friend or two, watch Boston legal and go to bed. Good enough!

Now, just five minutes to go before the game starts, I think I should be closing all the Word files, publishing this blog post and try to focus on the game for the next 90 minutes. Sounds like a good plan…until my motivation leaves me.

05/11/10

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